LSA mix is kinda lethal....

Ok, so until I get to Hawaii, I'm on a health kick to get into shape so I can have abs (alas, the crux of the metro/gay wonderment), a healthy glow (without the requirement of using Natural Glow, the fine mineral powder)... but moreso about the abs. And possibly a smaller booty, although that's pretty much optional. I guess it's the difference between being Lady GaGa or Beyonce. I'm not particularly fussed.

Therefore, for the next 8 weeks, it's out with Gluten and Dairy. Which is sad, cos I'm sure that Quarter Pounders consist of both of those delicacies that I enjoy profusely.

Alas.

Meanwhile, being semi-lactose intolerant, you would think that I would be avoiding cheese like the plague. But no. I embrace the stomach pains and veritable anomalies that occur with dairy type consumptions. Which is weird, cos I avoid milk like the plague (unless I get a craving for milk and cookies, then I'll.... pardon the pun.... stomach it - for the sake of using a tim tam straw. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Tim tam straws are just.... *drools*). I don't stomach yoghurt too well either. Not that I'm a big fan, but the idea of little lactobacillus micro organisms travelling thru me like a wet 'n' wild dreamworld type ride kinda makes me dry wretch.

Mmm... delicious.

So if you add white bread to the mix, it kinda kills my everyday diet of burgers (I have a lazy ass palate, which matches my normal sunday type behaviour), not that I eat burgers everyday, but if it weren't for my tight-arse ness, I would be very much happy to oblige. I do enjoy the burger. And I'm sure most of y'all do too. I'm not too big on white bread unless in the form of a burger bun, but I enjoy my pumpkin seed bread. Soy & Linseed bread is dead to me (DEAD I say!) but that's because of my addictive personality, where I ate soy & linseed bread til the cows came home, had a sleep, woke up, ate some grass, went back out to pasture, played bingo and THEN came home again. So that would equate to roughly 8 months. And then that fateful day came where I threw up on Soy & Linseed bread. Let me tell you, it wasn't pretty. There was tears (mine) and tantrums (bystanders) and a whole lotta vomit (I'd say 80% me, 20% bystanders).

And suddenly the insatiable appetite for Soy & Linseed bread was no longer.

So I added that to the list of things I can no longer eat due to those addictive relationships I created over the years. I'm not entirely sure whether or not they're addictive per se... perhaps it was bought on by the laziness of attempting to widen the spectrum of my palate. Meanwhile, that list gets longer everyday... Spag bol (mince in particular), tomatoes, eggs (for a while... I didn't eat them from 4 onwards, then came back to the fold when I turned 18), corn chips, mi goreng noodles.

And to top it off, I'm beginning to wane on the one thing I can eat for dinner: Grilled chicken and steamed vegetables. God, if I see another plate of that, I will eventually vomit up something and possibly attempt to pass it off as garnish.

To be fair, it's not like it's a bad meal, but one too many of those makes me reach for the cereal bowl and start munching on muesli until I'm either sowing my own oats out of my ears or passed out excessive dried fruit syndrome. And since I can't eat it with dairy, the only milk that seems to go well with cereal is Oat milk. Again with the oats. And since I'm super healthy, LSA mix is thrown into the muesli to complete the grain version of the circle of life. And for anyone not in the know, LSA consists of Linseed (flaxseed), sunflower seeds & almond kernel. Useless by themselves, but when you combine the powers, it's almost Captain Planet-esque. LSA mix, according to bodybuilding.com, is a great source of essential fatty acids and fibre. I dunno, but it sure does give you a great glow. And bodybuilding.com is right about the fibre.... not after 7 minutes of eating, you're sitting on the loo. It's possibly better than Metamucil for all I know. So, as a cautionary tale, it might help if you eat LSA mix in the closest proximity to a toilet, cos when you gotta go, it'll just go without a warning. I should know, I lived on it for 3 months last year.

So, with 3 days down, and 7 weeks to go, it's time to buckle down...

...It's gonna be one hell of a ride...

Cos you know when it's over, I'm heading straight to the closest burger joint I can find.

Abs and all.