(Van) Damme! It’s time to go… erm.. Somewhere… You pick… :)

So, being that I’m completely useless I had given up on the idea of doing classes. I was super annoyed at the fact I couldn’t find it, although home provided me with the info. They had in fact moved within the 3 years down since I was last there to 45th St. Plus by then, I just didn’t have the heart to go to class by then. So I had planned to lie to all my dancing buddies and tell them I had gone to each and every class – otherwise, I was going to be slapped by each and every one of them.

But then I couldn’t be bothered, and upon my return I told some people that I didn’t do classes and each response was more or less “I could slap you right now”

BAHAHAHA

So final class count for the trip: A big fat 0 out of 10.

I really deserve a medal, methinks…

So anyway, in my defeatist slump, I bought myself a ticket to Woodbury Common and went shopping instead. Shopping again to the same military type precision… until I was hungry, so it fell apart and I was piss farting all over the shop(s) (...Not really piss farting per se, moreso the action of walking aimlessly, just to clarify).

So tired. Must eat.

I managed to spend the last of my money there and then 7hrs later, I was back on the bus. The lovely lady at YSL decided to give me the big massive ass bag, not only for my shoes, so that I could put all my other little bags in it. Aww bless. So it looked like I went to town on YSL and I was walking around like I did. Actually, I was around like I was Lindsay Lohan-parody in Pink’s Stupid girl video clip, complete in my oversized glasses and looking vacant. The vacant look must be derived from being hungry. And I was so hungry I coulda eaten a cavalcade of horses.

Not that I eat anything besides chicken and beef. Tuna yes, but only in a can, and if it doesn’t have the seafood smell. Tuna is the chicken of the sea, you know. So again, after 7hrs I made it back to the hotel to drop it off. I made it back in time to watch both Gossip Girl AND Heroes, and they were both in my timetable schedule, except I realized it might be better just to see NYC one last time before I head home. I then grabbed my camera, train back and went down to WTC.

Secretly, I was hoping to make it there before Century 21 closed.

Suffice to say, it was closed, so I decided to walk all the way up from WTC to 40th, documenting my walk with pictures.

I took pictures of idiotic things, like Vandam St, only because it made me laugh out loud. And guys that are 6’1 that are laughing by themselves on the street look like barrelful of craziness.
And then I was standing there thinking “now if I could get a picture of Van Damme, it would complete my joke”…

Also, photos of a sign that said “Condominium”, but only photographing the first 6 letters.

I know… juvenile.

And other things on the walk…

like where my imaginary band practice was…

And 10 Downing on 6th Ave…

Hello, UK Prime Minister.

Jenny Craig... next to McDonalds (WTF?)

And the CUTEST EVER pumpkins I had ever seen. Aww bless.

The most surprising part of that walk was I passed an Urban Outfitters that was still open, so I ran haphazardly across 6th ave to get in there before the store closed and bought a few things. It was great!

Continued on and made it to 35th St (actually I chose 35th St as the point to end, because there was a Walgreens and they were having 2 for 1 deals on 99c juice cans I fell in love with.
Plus I wanted to pick up some eye serum for the bags under my eyes. I actually tried it when I got back to the hotel and it works like PVA glue. It also dries like PVA glue, so really it looks like I had excess eye booger action going on. After that, I got back on the train, grabbed some maccas one last time before I headed into the hotel to pack.

Even though NYC provides a treasure trove of dining marvels, I always bought stuff from the closest takeaway place, which always seemed to be a McDonalds. I think it was because I don’t think I had the time or patience (and possibly balls) to have loner meals (“Can I have a table for 1?” BAHAHA), so it was always take away or “to go”, which I kept blanking on whenever somebody said “Is that to have here or to go?” and I would say “take away” and then both the cashier and I would stare blankly at each other until I said “to go”.

I did watch a great doco on McDonalds and how it came to fruition on CNBC. It was really interesting…. Well, at 1am, it was interesting. But the whole NY dining experience be 75% McDonalds, it totally put me off Mcdonalds and decided not to have McDonalds for awhile when I got back to Oz….

…That was, until I had it again on the night I arrived back in Oz (although, not by my choosing).

Ah fail.

Santito was in the elevator again, where he gave me his final critique. Meanwhile, what do say to people who offer praise to the outfits you put together? Do you give them a high five? Or maybe a tip? I did neither and I said thanks. It would be the last time Santito would be around to offer up a critique. Fare thee well…and live long and prosper.

Meanwhile, I realized after buying all that crap, that I would actually have to pack it myself. I got back to the hotel at midnight. I didn’t finish packing until 3:40am - it woulda ended an hour earlier, except that I kept getting sidetracked.. and drinking Kahlua and Wine, so I was pissy pants.

BUT, when I turned the TV on in the room, guess who was on?

Yes!! It was Van Damme.

I cracked up for like 5 minutes cos I thought it was the most hilarious thing ever… but then again, I guess you crack when you don’t speak to people for awhile.

So to bed I went at 3:40, woke up 3 hours later to finish packing and then headed for the airport by 9am (since I was close to Newark and I was flying out of JFK, I took the hotel shuttle to Newark and transferred to JFK from there).

Suffice to say, I did not enjoy trying to get home. 2 suitcases, 3 shopping bags and a Gucci duffel is not easy to manoeuvre. I got it all the way to Sydney though... Hooray!

I had waited in the taxi line at the airport – an hour later, I was still waiting, so I said screw it, I’m getting on a train. Cut to running for the train down on the platform. It was monsoonal sweating. It was so hideous. I got off at Central to buckets of rain evolving from head and armpit sweat (Eww) and caught a cab from there.

So I landed at 8am, out by 8:40 and I got home at 10:40.

What a pain in the backside.

And there you have it! Trip to last the ages, not for the fainthearted, not for the not-so-fainthearted. Still, it’s one that I’ll remember for awhile…

Until next year, when I’m there for NYE.

December 2010.

Lock that in NYC, I’ll be coming (back) for you.