You know it’s probably a good outlet store when the bus you’re on passes the local prison…

Here's a recount of the recent trip... split over a few entries to maximize reader pleasure.

Or maybe just because it's long winded.

In any case, enjoy!

*******

So, my trip started with so much promise.

Checked into the hotel @ 10:30pm Thursday, where I first met one of the maintenance guys – I don’t know his name, so I’ll call him Santito: very nice elder gentleman, mid to late 40’s. Anyway, Santito not only is the hotel maintenance guy, BUT also doubles as the hotel’s fashion police. If there’s an outfit that Santito doesn’t like, you only need to look at his face. Luckily, Santito had nothing but praise for my colour palette I chose for the day.

It’s great when people notice your outfits. Let me tell ya, it’s not easy… Which probably accounts for why I’m late everywhere – but that’s another story.

Friday morning, I was up and at 'em at 8am to get to 125 18th St in Chelsea, NYC – YSL sample sale. I was met with a lot of early-bird fashionistas trying to score themselves a bargain. The sale would’ve been great for me, except their men’s selections were hideous. Remaining shoes were like a size 7 and a horrible dark teal colour, and the men’s clothing were made for men the size of hobbits or pocket gays. I felt like the moose in the middle of swans - all clumsy and oafish.

But then I have the height of a supermodel, so suck on that.

Ah well.

After a good 20 minutes of pretending to look around, I left and I hopped back on a train to NJ to get to Jersey Gardens.

(Meanwhile, I had no idea that if you buy a weekly on NJ transit, that the weekly actually starts from the next day. That was so dumb. It completely defeats the purpose of buying a weekly.)

Changing at Newark Penn and on the bus to Jersey Gardens.

Onwards to victory!

Ok, so the bus trip itself took like an hour to get there. I didn’t mind so much, since I was by myself. If anything, it was interesting: the bus went through like the port area of Elizabeth NJ, then past the prison, then to Ikea, then to Jersey Gardens.

Super weird.

I kinda felt like Alicia Keys in the Fallin’ video clip – except I wasn’t going to visit my prison bound boyfriend… more like picking up Nike hi tops. Err.

Smack bang in the middle of nowhere.. it was the eeriest feeling , it was like I was the only who knew this place existed – no cars anywhere to be seen. Only the sight of 4 hoodlums provided me with the relief that this place was indeed open. (Meanwhile, cut to like an hr later and out for a smoko, did I realize that people parked on the other side of the mall – and there were buttloads of cars on that side).

Ok, for those who reaaally know me, I’m broke nearly all of the time and that’s because I cannot at all resist a bargain. I hear people say this all the time, but I mean it when I say I truly am the world’s best shopper.

Shopping to me is like a tactical assault, I hate going in willy nilly… that’s just foolish and frankly amateurish: that is how you end up with an orange bowler hat and clogs.

Prior to arriving, I always ALWAYS study the mall map, calculating the most economical route to get from store to store. I also spend the first 2 hours going into stores and sourcing first what I want to purchase, then add it to my list. Once I’m down to the list, then it’s time to go shopping. Never rush the art of shopping. Or it will come back to bite you in the ass.

Plus (in the midst of my research of Jersey Gardens in particular), the best thing was that as it’s in a Urban Development Zone - I don’t exactly understand what it means, but the gist of it is that there’s no sales tax on clothes and shoes.. Hurrah!

And shop I did, where I ended up buying luggage while I was there to carry everything around. And not just any luggage. I bought Calvin Klein suitcase.

I know, right?

Flash.

Actually, I could say that I was inundated with shopping bags, but the real reason for buying a suitcase was: 1) I actually did need a second suitcase (taking an empty suitcase with me from Sydney seems a little stupid); and 2) I’m lazy. I don’t want to carry stuff in bags, I want it wheeled in one compact and elegant suitcase.

So I had a ball, and then realized that I was running late as my 1st class, which was in NYC at 4:30. Since it was 3pm and I hadn’t finished shopping, I thought bah, I’ll miss the 1st class. So I continued shopping until the suitcase was full, and then I left at 3:45, in time for the bus. Although, since I was on the bus, I failed to factor in the 2nd class start time - and getting to it, so I missed that too.

Back at the hotel, I didn’t have time to marvel over my purchases. That was because I ended up falling asleep in the middle of the pile of stuff I had bought, so then I missed the 3rd class too.

So running class count for the day: 0 out of 3.

Oh well, there’s still 7 classes to go…

I then decided it was the optimal time to have a look in Sears. I have had an obsession with Sears since about 14, and then further increased while watching Extreme Makeovers: Home Edition. To my disdain, it was anti-climactic. It wasn’t as magical as I thought it would be…

..So I’ve now replaced Sears with Walmart.

Walmart shall now be my new obsession...